thunderbirds are go review type thing: Unplugged

THIS TIME ON TEABAG: weirdness. well what did you expect.

the premise of this episode is that virgil is ferrying grandma tracy to a tea party in london, apparently he hasn’t got anything more important on his schedule, like actually rescuing people

“and another thing, seniors pay half fare”

london traffic. not funny or anthing but pretty accurate

London traffic. not funny or anything but pretty accurate

then an emp, or as the episode calls it “emf device” happens and… well the traffic stays the same.

This is where my suspension of disbelief starts getting strained. 1) Thunderbird 2, a vehicle already established as a VTOL with a secondary purpose of supersonic flight manages to glide in without any power on it’s stubby little wings. 2) Virgil manages to steer it in to land on a street, so in the 2060s we will still use mechanical flight controls in a computer controlled supersonic VTOL aircraft, direct human control in either of those cases is just… stupid. any significant course correction at mach speeds would just break your vehicle into tiny pieces and VTOL on spooling jets? CRASH AND BURN!!!. also 3) the emf generator apparently blocks all electricity in the city while it’s on, thus explaining why thunderbird 2’s jet engine actuators don’t just start up the jets again but correct me if I’m wrong, I don’t think that there’s any science that supports the existence of something that does that.

the lifting body effect, i guess?

the lifting body effect, i guess?

that may have come out of a bird but it's still bullshit

“i can’t believe i actually pulled that off without a scratch on thunderbird 2” (subtitles not yet turned on

anyway virgil has been robbed of his technology so naturally he just goes into full moron mode for the rest of the episode. fortunately he brought along granny and she micromanages him though self doubt as he does nothing to save the whitest lady in the world from a falling crane, apparently cranes can’t stand up without power these days. so the crane falls over and the tracys abandon the cockney vampire chick to look at a poster.

rated P for pale

rated P for pale

yes, hit the crane with a metal rod, dropping the payload and achieving nothing

yes, hit the crane with a metal rod, dropping the payload and achieving nothing

then Parker and lady Penelope read another poster and beat up some teenagers.

wait, paper actually smells like... anything?

wait, paper actually smells like… anything?

teenagers. fortunately parker's here to rough them up

teenagers. fortunately parker is here to rough them up

apparently there are cockney Amish extremists in 2060... WHAT THE FRISKET!?

apparently there are cockney Amish extremists in 2060… WHAT THE FRISKET!?

this brings us on to the villains of the piece: the Luddites. bit of a history lesson on luddite..ism… the story goes that back in Victorian times a drunk guy called Ned Ludd got really Pished one night and wrecked a couple of “stocking frames”, which i can’t be bothered to look up. just like the current immigrant worker scare currently being blown out of proportion around Britain a bunch of people were worried that the machines would take their jobs so jumped on the bandwagon and started trying to destroy factories and halt the industrial revolution. they failed and eventually we got the playstation 2 so i guess the jokes on them.

the luddites in the episode however? as the caption to the right says they are essentially Islamic state crossed with the Amish. apparently Amish State in Suffolk, Bristol, Reading, Aberdeenshire, Ipswich, Norfolk and Southend (you work out the acronym) was already taken. and they were also stupid hypocrites, i don’t mind hypocracy but when your main policy is the destruction of  all the world’s technology then using technology in the form of the bomb from space race but painted blue is just plain stupid. seeing as they’re cockney teenagers in a world where space has motorways they definitely haven’t put much though into this but still.

anyway penny and parker steal the teenagers capes and sneak into their lair.

meanwhile virgil is confused by the premise of the London underground but granny sets him right. jeez if she wasn’t here then London would have been screwed.

“i don’t have any drills to go down there”
“shut up Virgil”

actually this might have salvaged the episode.

actually this might have salvaged the episode.

wow it's really convenient for me that best brains named the MST3K mole people Gerry and Sylvia

wow it’s really convenient for me that best brains named the MST3K mole people Gerry and Sylvia

they follow some teenagers to the aforementioned EMF.

penny and parker discover that the teenagers are after a giant usb with the codes to shut down the global power grid hidden alone inside an electronically sealed vault… WHY DOES THIS THING EXIST? WHO GOT EVERYONE TO AGREE TO PUT ALL THEIR PASSWORDS TOGETHER SO THAT TERRORISTS COULD JUST STEAL IT ALL IN ONE GO!? WHY DIDN’T THE IDIOTS JUST USE A BOMB ON THE DOOR!?

that's it

the USB stick of power batteries not included

nuke form space

Lord Hugh Creighton-Ward: Fails at Parenting

stupid code

why dafudge does this exist.

then The Hood shows up and betrays the teenagers apparently. i guess the implication is that he provided the EMF and kept the assbrains around to act as a scapegoat. they didn’t contribute anything else really. so the hood takes the USB and locks everyone but penny in the vault… oh yeah the power’s back on cause granny told virgil to hit the bomb with his death battery wrench… i meant to say electric wrench with a dead battery but “death battery wrench”? that’s golden. thanks brain. parker beats up the teenagers again and they’re later freed by penny’s “harry potter lock spell thing” app

then virgil uses his mechsuit, the batteries miraculously recharged to actually save the whitest chick you know, parker reveals that he swapped the usb for a flashlight and they go to the tea party.

this show has a obsession with mech suits. something i wholeheartedly encourage.

this show has a obsession with mech suits. something i wholeheartedly encourage.

by the way i had a torch that looked just like this.

“by the way i had a torch that looked just like this.”

and they all got drunk and never spoke of this again

and they all got drunk and never spoke of this again

tie fighter AWAY!!!

tie fighter AWAY!!!

“they called me too washed hup for a brawl m’lady”

london looks about as good from above as it does from street level

london looks about as good from above as it does from street level

by the way we're supposed to belive that this fits in the tie fighter.

by the way we’re supposed to believe that this fits in the tie fighter.

the hood gets away but just like in crosscut he doesn’t check anything so he only notices the swicharoo after his escape. this show’s status-quo is starting to bug me. surely they can let the villans capture a key piece once in a while.

this episode is just nonsense. and also virgil is a complete and utter moron.

AAAARGH!

well that was this. not sure how much delay will be on the next review as i’m currently doing AS level exam things, non UK readers google it.

it’s ok if it makes no sense to you either.

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