one of my favourite parts of modern semi-serial tv shows: follow up episodes. isn’t it great when you show that previous things the characters did actually had consequence? hell yeah! so far atlantis has been pretty good at keeping ongoing plots around. there’s the wraith they captured in suspicion who they accidentally killed in poisoning the well, 38 minutes following up on the wraith castle they visited in the first episode, even the plotline about spacedad and the athosians getting in everyone’s way and then getting evicted. and now we’re getting a whole 2 parter about the genii and their awesome uniforms!
badass uniforms modern tv shows
so we get a recap of underground; farmers, coats, that guy from the alan partridge movie, ginger orphans, screaming man. you know the gist (or of you don’t go an read that summary). then we open on shep and teylaa flying round to halling’s place on the continent to see how he and the kids are (yay for even more returning plot threads!). then what can only be described as a “FUCKOFF HURRICANE” shows up and robs teylaa of her ability to make convincing facial expressions. oh and also it’s going to kill them all.
aang wakes up from this slightly disturbed but finds that the skies are clear and… wait, wrong “the storm”. man there are a lot of “the storms” in tv, it’s a pretty generic title.
Damn, that’s pretty solid opening even if teylaa started pulling funny faces in the middle of a serious scene.
ok i’ve figured out what the moon thing is: Atlantis has it’s shield up, it’s underwater and that’s the seabed.
Did you know that John Sheppard is a master negotiator? well he is. The menerians (those guys who they traded food with at the end of underground) are assholes you see and when they discover that their new trading partners are in danger their leader voldemort’s dad tells them to stuff it but shep cunningly makes them see his side of the argument by telling them about his big army and fleet of gateships. i would raise a point about this being a particularly loose cannon thing to do but Voldemort Sr is kind of a dick, in fact he calls up colm meaney and the genii and tells them about how atlantis is going to be rather empty in the near future. dick.
mkay and zelenka, the czech science dude, try and come up with a plan to save atlantis from being torn apart by the FUCKOFF HURRICAINE, ford saying how unbelievable it is that Atlantis would sink EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THERE IN THE PILOT WHEN IT WAS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA! fortunately team science dudes decide to follow in the footsteps of victor Frankenstein, Barry Allen and He-Man and use lightning to solve all their problems. y’see Atlantis has a bunch of lighting rods, despite having shields and spending a lot of time under the water because as the episode puts it “moving on”, which drain into the ocean. if they can turn off the things that do that then everything is electrocuted and thus forcefield. turns out that’s still pretty bad though as people don’t like being electrocuted so they evacuate everyone but shep, weir, 2 redshirts and mkay. also carson beckett, teylaa and ford are stuck on the mainland looking for some idiots who wandered off. anyway let’s check in on the genii.
huh, well i guess they must be donatello fans because a genii master stick ninja is having a stick ninja battle against vice president sora from the last genii episode. he wins because he’s the goddamed master stick ninja and colm tells him to go on a commando raid on atlantis to go and steal all the calpol they were promised. master stick ninja nicks a GDO (garage door opener, a radio code thing to tell people to open the iris/shield on the gate) of a drunk athosian on menemener who tells him that they apparently have finger scanners on these things now… ha, that would make too much sense to be true. meanwhile shep and weir turn of the things that ground the lightning. well weir does, shep’s ones are far away and he only makes it to his last one at the end of the episode. meanwhile carson and co find the missing dumbasses but now can’t take off because it’s far less safe to be flying above a FUCKOFF HURRICANE than on the ground in a big metal tube.
master stick ninja shows up on atlantis and shoots those two dudes. cold, they’re not even in the same galaxy as the nearest redshirt factory. even sora thinks so. master stick ninja like many hans grubers before him takes hostages in the form of mkay and weir who tell him shep is actually off the city. mkay uses the tannoy to discreetly tell shep that the genii are raiding the amoury and weir gives them back the wraith usb. shep steals all the c4 and calpol and leaves master stick ninja a walkie talkie so he can snark at him like so many John McClanes before him. shep’s hidden all the stuff and tells them that he’ll give it to them in exchange for them leaving but master stick ninja’s shanked mkay who told him about their plan to save atlantis and wants the city for himself. he tells shep to finish with the lightning grounding machines and stuff of he’ll kill the hostages and shep has to go along with it, though not before grabbing a game boy out of a gateship and sending voiemail to carson. meanwhile weir and sora fail the Bechdel test by talking about the latter’s dead father and how she wants revenge on teyla or something.
shep tries to turn off the acient thing but is jumped by two genii who learn what happens when you fight someone with a game boy minimap. shep calls up MSN and tells him that they’re even on killcount but the bullets broke the thing that they needed. MSN is like “ok, i’m killing a hostage because no-one will beat my high store, not even you brian blessed who sacrificed half your own dudes!” and points a gun at weir, shep is like “ahh but self destruct” but as MSN has actually watched stargate he knows that self destruct needs too officers to set it off and shep is only one dude. shep screams at the
FUCKOFF HURRICANE sky.
to be continued
yep, this is die hard, it’s good die hard.
plus sora starts being visibly a badass yet at the same time spends her time telling MSN how much of a dick he is.