Letters from Pegasus, a Stargate Atlantis text review: Runner

Last time On letters from pegasus:

this show’s becoming more and more serial, just read the damn thing in order.

Teaser:

so after shipping in some new redshirts weir decides to put them to good use and ship them out to Vancouver planet #905 to go stare at some global warming… wait a moment, global warming? can’t be canadian, portland oregon planet #1. apparently the ozone of this uninhabited planet got destroyed (i guess this is the planet where people dump all their CFCs on through the gate) and all animals are dead but earth plants are everywhere. oh and naturally our night visiting team take it in good faith they’ll get back home on time and don’t think to bring shades or hazmat suits. then there’s a dead wraith and ford (you remember him right? this is the episode we replace him in) is sitting up in a tree telling the plants how scared they are of him.

ok, colour me interested. how does aquaman tie into this?

The Episode:

so they take the wraith back home and autopsy it finding that ford did indeed kill it for it’s precious ambergris shep upon hearing of an excuse to expose himself to more radiation jumps at the bit and takes the now 3 strong shepsquad along with him (because it’s not like he could find a replacement ford back on earth a few weeks ago with literally 7 billion people to pick from). he and teylaa split off and find someone who stuns them with a laser pointer. meanwhile rodney and Ed Robertson lookalike Major Lorne (who previously appeared in a sg1 episode where he was a dick to lizardmen and thew up) argue a bit and find another guy but are distracted by shepard distress calling. rodney and co go back home to pick up some cancer proof suits because he’s not stupid, his redshirts are though and just run around cancer planet with less protection than a 15 year old yob whom hath won himself a trip to vegas (or whatever you use “whom” for). meanwhile shep and teyla wake up to find ronan dex: gruff voiced ford replacement, the new aquaman and “runner”. what’s his story? well 7 years ago the wraith attacked dreadlock planet and killed all it’s dudes, except ronin whom which they stuck a spiderman tracker right next to his spine and spent the rest of his life hunting him for fun and…

OK look i know this is a pretty standard sci-fi trope but are all evil space empires really stupid enough to select the best fighters from their enemies and proceed to give them rigorous survival and guerilla warfare training by constantly sacrificing their soldiers to them along with motives to use said skills against them? Shifu, there must be a whole idiot ballpit floating out there.

so shep is like “we’ve got a doctor” roman is like “great go get him and i’ll not kill your friend here”, naturally this involves carson beckett coming in to operate on romulan and teylaa taking off his shirt to reveal obvious fanservice.  being a (mostly) straight dude i think i’ll pass episode, what’s rodney and lorne doing?

“I’M PERFECTLY SANE, THAT’S WHY I TAZED ED ROBERTSON BRO. HE IS SCARED OF ME.”

okay then, it would appear ford is here. and he has a plan: he and rodney are going to walk around the planet till night falls with no idea where they’re going to try and save the already saved shep and teylaa while ford explains how sane he is with logic like. “I HAVE SUPER POWERS, DRUGS ARE GOOD FOR ME.”, “FORD ISN’T IN RIGHT NOW, BUT HE ISN’T AT THE DOCTOR. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FORD” “CANCER IS NO PROBLEM TO ME, I HAVE A GIANT EYE.” eventually rodney has enough and:

ford: “FORD’S NOT CRAZY, BUT FORD COULD KILL YOU IN AN INSTANT”
Mkay: “well that escalated quickly, i’m gonna go now mr perfectly sane gun wielding maniac”
ford: “YOU DOUBT MY SANITY, I WILL KILL THAT TREE TO PROVE IT TO YOU!!!!!!”

and then rodney shoots him. naturally this does nothing because space drugs and he runs off to get caught in one of rohan’s ewok meat traps. then shep comes along and is like “ford you crazy bro, either come with me or i’ve been told to kill you”. ford responds with this:

“I’M PERFECTLY SANE, SEE: THE WRAITH ARE HERE AND I’M JUMPING INTO ONE OF THEIR HOOVER BEAMS NOW. WOULD I DO THAT IF I WAS CRAZ…”

they return home and rodney having made friends with rogaine off screen persuades him to come back to atlantis and as stated before this guy’s also superman is a dick verse aquaman so he’s now the king, because y’know atlantis.

Sora’s Log:

there’s this new hobo looking guy walking around the city, i have no idea who he is and so far there hasn’t really been a point where it didn’t seem awkward to ask but he’s also wearing a crown and carrying around this three pointed ninja srock. does that mean he’s important? is he really important on earth? i don’t know. i’ve been following him around all afternoon in hopes of overhearing who he is but all i heard from him was a dissatisfied grunt when Doctor Rodney asked him to sing “his rousing song of heroism”.

also i think i’m a little closer to understanding earthan names: it would appear that their surname comes first as when Major John returned he’d became Lootenant-Cornel John. i assume that this means he’s either got married or divorced, or maybe accepted into a warrior clan. that seems very much like him.

Final Thoughts:

this one was a little cliché, really the only thing worth watching this for if you’re not interested in beefcake is ford’s HILARIOUS FREAK OUTS. it makes no less sense than before but they clearly realized the best way to write this was for the sheer comedic value.

RODNEY YOU SHOT ME, NOW YOU MUST DIE but i shot you, and you're here. clearly this isn't a big dea... I'M SORRY RODNEY BUT THE PLANTS TOLD ME I COULDN'T TRUST YOU. you're ins... I'M PERFECTLY FINE, YOU'RE JUST SCARED OF ME!

“RODNEY YOU SHOT ME, NOW YOU MUST DIE”
“but i shot you, and you’re here. clearly this isn’t a big dea…”
“I’M SORRY RODNEY BUT THE PLANTS TOLD ME I COULDN’T TRUST YOU”
“you’re ins…”
“I’M PERFECTLY FINE, YOU’RE JUST SCARED OF ME!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s