Letters from Pegasus, a Stargate Atlantis text review: Hive

so last time on letters from pegasus my policy on writing 2 summaries didn’t change. read the damn thing or ever better watch the damn episode so i can get back to watching community instead.

The Teaser:

most of this is taken up by last times so i won’t bore you. then the wraith queen invites shep over for dinner but, upon discovering rufio… i mean zuko… i mean ford doesn’t have a deodorant farm in his drug army base throws him back in the cell. not perturbed by this sheppard and co decide to escape by throwing the 50 knives stuffed up ford and ronan’s rectums at the wallgina in hopes that it’ll work.

Sora’s Log:

i leave them alone for five days and the next thing you know Doctor Rodney comes through the gate drunk out his mind on that stuff that made Lieutenant Aiden insane shouting nonsense about how he “went superman 2 on those 2 guys”, whatever that means, and then proceeded to wear the word amazing into the ground till the next harvest at least. Doctor Carson managed to help him through his massive hangover, i’ve never had to have a doctor help me through one of those, that stuff must be really good. Speaking of Lieutenant Aiden apparently he’s got an army of equally crazy people and has attempted to take John, Teyla and that king fellow hostage.

poor Lieutenant Aiden.

The Episode:

The shep-CRAZYMAN expedition breaks free and runs around the hive a bit before stopping to pick up people in cocoons, a move which has only worked well for them in the past (you made sora sad you bastards). sure enough they are captured, split up and all of ford’s men die. shep and ford are locked in a cell with a hot chick, who it turns out is a wrath cultist but shep’s pretty damn clever and tells her all about how clowns are invading the earth. ford writhes around a bit. meanwhile Teyla and Ronan have rodney grade hangovers. shep is taken to the wraith’s green spotlight gameshow room again to speak to the queen, presumably she’s febreezed the place a little this time, and tells her all about how the other hive ship… yes there’s two hive ships, is trying to steal their kill and because the wraith are hungry tensions are high. this is of course helped by ford being dragged off to a cocoon, escaping and stealing all their weapons back and swinging in. he’s like biggles, James bond, Brock Samson and Daniel Jackson all rolled into one. how does that help make the wraith attack each other? shut up, the badasses are talking here. plus shep escapes in a dart, hoovering up teylaa and ronan before inciting a little mutually fatal hive on hive combat. the Daedalus shows up to do nothing, not even save them, and shep’s dart is apparently toasted in an explosion. but he’s fine because he’s sheppard. plus now they know that the wraith are infighting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pele5vptVgc

and what happened to ford? well he discovered a rare space dragon, tamed it and rid it down to the planet while holding his breath (even though his lungs should have exploded), escaped from a maximum security rehab facility to the traveller (stargate quarians) underground forming a crack team of commandos. today hunted by the wraith Ford takes jobs not for money, just out of spite towards the wraith.

tie in novels, these jokes just write themselves.

Final Thoughts:

this was a good two parter, and it’s kind of sad we don’t get more of ford after this.

Seriously, it wasn’t even a deus ex machina telporting moblie space wall this time. Sheppard in a dart is frikken better than the Daedalus, no wonder cadwell hates his job! i mean what the hell Battlecruiser Project Lead Dr Samantha Carter, you’re supposed to be an omni-disciplinary genius but we’re going to have to wait till unending before the 304s become fucking useful for anything. look up mckay, she’s slipping. not long now and you can find inner peace smugness again.

Wake your ass up, it's time for Rodney and Evan in the Lorne-ing! let's start with the weather. Malpey the weatherbot activate!

Wake your ass up, it’s time for Rodney and Evan in the Lorne-ing! let’s start with the weather. Malpey the weatherbot activate! POSTCODE: P3M -736: LOCAL WEATHER: SUN, TEMPERATURE: 15c FEELS LIKE 40c. wait you thought that was a community reference? i’m on episode 5, that hasn’t come up yet.

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