Letters from Pegasus, a Stargate Atlantis text review: The Return (part 1)

the ancients are back… not that that actually matters for some reason.

The Teaser:

so mkay’s finally finished on the McKay-Carter intergalactic gate bridge, a collection of stargates suspended in the abyss between galaxies macro’d together so that they can jump between them at will. and speaking of head-over-heels for carter there’s no mention of jay phelger, earth’s “expert” on gate macros, is made but let’s face it do you really want phelger’s name on something people are supposed to trust? whatever. the system works by having a bunch of chained pegasus gates lead to the inexplicably bathed in sunlight midway station in the intergalactic void, then you switch networks to the milky way gates because getting them to lead into each other is too much effort. shep goes through both systems in a jumper and meets celebrity guest cameo Richard Dean Anderson. meanwhile rodney like a cat with someone’s unmolested ankle in front of him finds something travelling past them at 0.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999c

The Episode:

so they tailgate it for a bit and it slows down, it turns out to be ancients with a faulty hyperdrive so they’ve spent the last 10,000 years trying to get to the milky way, or 12 thanks to time dilation. the deadie gives them a lift back to the city and they promptly tell the Atlantis expedition to get the fuck off their lawn. ancients are dicks like that. they take control with their superior ATA and kick everyone but Woolsey out, because Woolsey is here now and he’s Woolsey. teyla and ronan are relocated to the athosians’ new cribs on planet canada #1338. so for the next 6 weeks the team spend their time trying to reajust to civilian life:  Sheppard babysits a SG team, Rodney complains about being reassigned to area 51’s green-screen division and weir barricades herself in teal’c’s apartment with 500 full tracksuits and sets up a blog. carson tries to help weir get out of her ennui by showing up at her den and telling her to buy them all some pizza which apparently works, treat people’s psycological problems with extortion: you heard it here first.

so apparently woolsey was lonely and invited jack round for one of the ancients 10,387th birthday bash unfortunately the asurans show up and fuck shit up using their new “modify your base code to allow you to murder your abusive parents” trick that rodney gave them. so much for the fucking gatebuilders, they get slaughtered. jack and woolsey send off a distress call and go hide in the bowels of the city. general landry over at the sgc orders the deadalus to go over to pegasus and nuke atlantis before this becomes a problem and calls in everyone to ask about bypassing the shields. shepsquad -2, +2  however doesn’t want to blow up jack and woolsey so weir nerd seduces dr bill to get access to the gateship they came back in and they bridge to teylaa and ronan who are considering throwing in with the genii because it’s pretty boring being a yokel. McKay uses override codes to disable the atlantis shield and they set forth.

DUN DUN DWAAAAN!

Sora’s Log:

I miss the city, we may not have made it but it’s kind of become a home to me, to all of us. sometimes i stare up into the sky and look for lantea. you know something? i’ve spent 18 of my 26 so far exploring the stars through the ring, from those treasured picnics on athos with my parents to the annex-building trip out to the alpha site 2 moons ago, yet for the first time in my life, held on new athos by their want for an architect, i finally feel… a sense of majesty? small? an appreciation of the stargate? possibly, Bored? Definitely. as soon as they don’t need my i’m going back to lizard planet.

Final Thoughts:

so they have a way to gate between galaxies without an Atlantis DHD sepcific 8 chevron address but the idea of relocating the expedition to the alpha site, installing an iris and continuing on with stargating is never brought up?

also the ancients are both dicks and incredibly stupid, so par for the course for them

"Dr McKay, what the hell was that?" "the ancients, they've got to plaid!"

“Dr McKay, what the hell was that?”
“the ancients, they’ve got to plaid!”

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