Reccuring Antagonist Fest ’06, Featuring superheroes, Cowboys and a duel.
some athosians doing some trading have come across a planet that looks like a suburban housing estate with its gate in a sculpture park yet has victorian era people. they report back to teylaa that there’s a guy there who’s considered a great hero and shepsquaud has nothing better to do so they’re on local hearsay duty. and wouldn’t you know it it’s our old pal lucy yet again in a position of power.
so while he regails the suburb folk of his tales of how he fought a 10,000 year old wraith to the death, met an other version of himself as an old lady, saved the deadalus from a computer virus and cured the wraith carson blood tests him to find him completely dry on space hemp. so why does everyone still like him? the dapper suit has something to do with that, that and his personal shield he had some ATA yokel activate for him (disregarding that that’s not how it works) and saving the town from bandits. still the novelty’s running thin so he might as well get back to baking. well that’s nice, so we’ll be off then…
COWBOY SURPRISE ATTACK! some guys show up and threaten everyone, shep thinks they can take them but they take a hostage so he orders the squad +1 to drop their weapons. the cowboy’s leader makes a very telegraphed speech about how they’re here to steal their stuff and rape their everything (seriously) and then handcuffs shepsquad +1. then lucy shows up to punch them with his shield generator and the day is saved. so they have a massive party and shepsquad +1 decides to leave, lucy goes out to the cowboys’ base and it turns out they’re just hired renegade genii actors, their guns weren’t even loaded. lucy decides that since he’s invincible he might as well be a dick to them and gives them less pay. however shepsquad +1 is watching however and confronts him about this, apparently the initial banditing was real but he’s loosing his fanbase so he thought he needed some more bandits to bandit.
none of that matters though because SEQUOYA!! shows up out of the blue and starts searching for sheppard. lucy lets them bunk in his private sex room but is captured and SEQUOYA!! uses his immense torture skills to waterboard him through the shield (disregarding that that’s not how it works) and finds out that… nobody trusted lucy and immediately fled. so SEQUOYA!! sets a trap by tying lucy to some train tracks and/or some dynamite and captures everyone but shep. much to his dismay the gate is guarded and SEQUOYA!! is demanding he return to town for execution and even worse his only asset is lucy, who is free now, shut up. so shep purloins the shield and walks into town while lucy tries to organise an angry mob in a surprisingly competent manner. the genii shoot at the impenetrable shield for a bit and it conks out just as the pitchfork people show up. so as we reach our climax all that’s left to do is a duel to the death between mortal enemies, which sheppard wins because his pistol is (apparently) bitchin’ and SEQUOYA!! bites the dust. we end on them sticking the now depleted shield generator back on lucy (disregarding that that’s not how it works) and leaving to the sound of someone kicking him in the nads.
Pretty fun, not the most exciting episode for kolya to go out on but the duel bit was an OK send-off compared to say, main character ford’s decent into insanity.
also lucius lavin, everyone else thinks he’s the worst thing to happen to the show but after seeing all his episodes i can’t see why he’s reviled so much, sure he’s a scumbag and you can’t have humour in our comedy-drama sci-fi (or rather syfy) show because laughter is for fools and only those of us with a severe allergy to all joy have respectable opinions, but he’s not boring or Jar Jar… although despite what they say Jar Jar has his merits, he does a really tall jump that allows you to get to minikits you couldn’t otherwise reach.