RoboBird Pterodon Renders (Maya)

Here’s some more Maya Renders, this time of a design i mashed together from Laserbeak and an older design of mine that combined Clank and the Megablox Minifig Dino Thunder Petrazord. included: 1 render with a cream-ish background added in in gimp and 1 render with a background made out out geometry.

robobirdf1 robobirdf2


GIR renders

Here are some neat renders of GIR from Invader Zim that i made in maya, untextured but i rather liked how well the proportions and colours came out, and pretty neat considering i’ve only known how to maya for about a day.

The full body shot is touched up in gimp for a glowing eyes effect.



#StopTPP: The Trans-Pacific Partnership and why you should fight it.

with the first link the chain is forged, the first journalist censored, the first mod forbidden, the first fair use denied: the first time anyone’s freedom is trodden on we’re all damaged.

i must apoligise, this is a bit of a long post but i urge you to find the time to read it all.

a storm is brewing: around the pacific rim countries, which includes places like japan, canada, australia and america, companies have been constructing a trade agreement called the Trans-Pacific Partnership in secret behind our backs. oh, that’s not all! for you see they have not only been working in the shadows but what they have wrought into this world is the most despicable, the most heinous and downright anti consumer and anti-community/fanbase section on their twisted intellectual property laws that we have seen so far in this “enlightened” information age we live in

but “hold on!” i hear you cry, “isn’t intellectual property law supposed to be good for content creators?”: no, at least not for those who create transformation and derivative work such as Let’s Plays, Mods and even Reviews. those of you even slightly in-tune with the various youtube scandals will have seen the greedy and immature exploiting DMCA takedown notices to censor critique and pull in revenue off of reviewers and lets players and even those who dare put some big label music in the background of their video who rely on their youtube ad money as their main source of revenue; for example Nintendo’s greedy policy of taking a cut of all monetised videos from all who should want to make any money, money with which they live off.

oh and it gets worse: if you live in one of these countries and ever download a ROM of a game? the police can come round your house and smash up your computer, ever look into a game’s files to make or download a mod or circumvent a faulty Digital Rights Management system like Securom? (securom, if you haven’t heard of it, is the software that has has rendered two games in my steam library completely unplayable) well now you’ve illegally violated “trade secrets”.

oh and on the subject of trade secrets i’m sure you’re aware that one of out “inalienable human rights” is freedom of opinion and expression and to “seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers”, it’s number 19 i checked. guess what happens if you’re a reviewer and discover that a company’s releasing a game with some hidden anti consumer BS like always online DRM, pay locked content or worst case scenario something that actually holds a large part of the game such as the ending at ransom for some downright disgustingly greedy fee to pay microtransactions and wants to tell the public about it? they’re violating trade secrets.

and you want to know the worst part about it? well guess what you used to undergo civil lawsuits for something like this… now they can press criminal charges. although i’ve been fairly moderated in my language up to this point i will need to get this out of my system: FUCKING HELL! I INVOKE GODWIN’S LAW AND DECLARE THIS OF SIMILAR NATURE TO CENSORSHIP UNDER THE NAZIS!!

ahh, much better. so yeah you can now be locked up for freedom of speech or even trying to play a game that you own that doesn’t work due to some greedy anti-pirate feature that gutted it. on top of that is the fact that the terminology is vague enough that they can interpret it in loads of ways and screw you over that way and to add insult to injury the stuff that does protect consumer rights and transparency are all written as suggestions along the lines of “you can endevour to do this and that” whereas the anti-consumer rights stuff is all mandatory “you should”s.

there’s also a ton of unscrupulous stuff in other fields, but i’m gonna stick to what i know

“but why should i care? i don’t live in one of these countries”, well name me the two countries responsible for the majority of video games. japan and the USA, correct. and which country are sites like youtube (and google), facebook and wordpress hosted in?

now you get the picture. oh and by the way i wasn’t joking with the picard paraphrase above, if we give them this mile then what’s to stop England from being set on the path to becoming orwell’s airstrip one under the the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership?

“so what can i do?”
well the bad news is that the legal text of this thing has been decided and all it’s waiting for is ratification (agreement) by all the nations involved. there is however good news: this is looking to take about 90 days and at the time of writing this puts this whole thing becoming the law in early 2016. first thing you’ll want to do is read up on what it is, there is no harm in educating yourself and quite a lot in not so. here’s some helpful links to the videos i found out about this from and the leaked text of the TPP IP section (oh yeah, they didn’t even reveal it on their own).

second: i’m not usually one who asks for publicity, i would prefer to earn it, but for this i beg of you that you share or link this to everyone that you know on all your social medias and blogsites and the like. alternatively use the hashtag #StopTPP and try and get it trending. this affects us all and we need to spread awareness to everyone, these companies thought they could sneak this into laws in secret and they will try to ignore our demands for as long as possible in the hopes that we give up. if we keep this news for as long as possible then we send a clear message to them that we will not allow them to weather the storm and continue being assholes.

thirdly, and most importantly, those in a position to act must act. if you live in one of these countries; United States, Mexico, Canada, Australia, Malaysia, Chile, Singapore, Peru, Vietnam, New Zealand and Brunei Darussalam, then contact any of your local politicians and representatives and ask them to fight it’s ratification, take a petition to them. all of you vocalise how much you disagree with this and hell if you have the nerve for it petition to your government to start economic sanctions against any country that dares ratify this. it may be hard but if you can boycott buying things from these companies involved in this (people like Disney, target, IBM, microsoft, apple, GAP, visa, xerox, nike and oracle, the us companies responsible actually name and shame themeselves on their website here: so check that out and try and find their site in your country) do whatever non-violent things you can to stop this thing coming through. again do not give up for they will try to weather this for as long as they can. together we can save our freedoms.

EDIT: japan has already stepped out of the IP part of the TPP due to public outcry, IF IT BLEEDS WE CAN KILL IT!!!!

i’m matt crane and i thank you for your time

LOTR: what needs adapting

please note that a lot of my understanding of this comes from reading the internet, so i might have got a few things wrong. also this will definately cause screams of  “what you’re suggesting differs from the source material, ergo it will be RUINED FOREVER YOU BASTARD!!!” from the zero people reading this (somehow) despite the fact that the original books remain, the still exist and thanks to their e-books will probably keep on existing.

having just finished reading lord of the rings: return of the king  i thought i’d talk about that. first off a quick review:

The books: good but they have problems. i personally think that the hobbit was better.

The Group Representing All The Peoples of middle earth despite being comprised of old white men… of the ring: probably the best bit of the trilogy

The Twin… i mean Two towers: at this point we start getting bogged down in tolkien’s superfluous archaic flavour text, quite a lot happens though

The Return of the Prime Minister: toliken cuts down on his trademark descriptions just when all the cool battles begun, on the plus side this means that the films got to invent all the cool bits. also included: some guys who live in the woods and are almost definitely racially insulting though i can’t tell exactly why and Eowyn’s being a badass in killing the lich guy having nothing to do with her being a strong female character but instead because since she can’t have aragon she wants to kill herself…

i mean seriously; WHAT THE HELL? this doesn't even have anything to do with tolkien being sexist

i mean seriously; WHAT THE HELL? this doesn’t even have anything to do with tolkien being a product of his time

The Films: Much More Enjoyable to experience, probably because i watched them first but also i skimread the books and it was still slow progress. it loses a lot of scale but that still leaves it with plenty, merry and pippin never seem to get any defining personality traits.

There, i’ve just begat a firey fandom rage such as this land has never… my statistics inform me that nobody views my stuff, i’m pretty much doing this for my own entertainment anyway but if i have pissed a whole bunch of people off over insulting their favorite work of fiction then let’s face it they were asking for it and any response will simply amuse me.

On to the rest of this article: now that they’ve completed the hobbit should they adapt the scouring/battle of the shire into it’s own movie?

In my Opinion yes, although they’d have to make a few changes and i would say that anything longer than 90 minutes would be overkill for one maybe two chapters, even though a significant chunk of the battle of five armies movie was elaborate fight scenes that tolkien gave about 2 pages total of the book to.

first off i understand why they didn’t include it in the movies: it breaks the flow between the coronation and grey havens scene, is only loosely tied into the plot and as i have said would require heavy adaptation to make into a full story.

at the same time it shows how much our hobbit protagonists have grown since the start of the book, ending their character arcs and showing them as seasoned heroes and adventurers. also it makes merry and pippin different character wise, not by much but to some degree they start showing how their experiences have changed them for example merry has become a strong leader thanks to his time spent with theoden, eowyn and elfhelm (who is not an elf but a riders of rohan officer guy, that would like my name being Blackguyhat Smith…)

you know, the one from live and let die

you know, the one from live and let die

of course there is a couple of changes that would need to be made during an adaptation like this:

first off christopher lee is dead and although apparently there is some “scourging of the shire” deleted scenes footage which they used in a lothlorien scene, i have no idea how complete it was but i get the impression that there wasn’t a great deal of it released or someone would have posted it on youtube. solution, and yes this is lore friendly, saruman wanted the one ring for himself because… take over the world, in the two towers he is shown controlling theoden with his wizard magics which is pretty similar to what the one ring can do, controlling people, ergo we can conclude from this that saruman was studying ways to replicate the ring. because what good is one almighty mind dominating ring of power when you can have 20?

The CEO of Trotter's Istarian Traders

The CEO of Trotter’s Istarian Traders

sauron in the movie continuity lacks physical form but is able to survive, this is probably because he’s actually a spirity god thing of the same irk that created middle earth. do you know who else are spirity god things that were granted mortal form to go and piss around on middle earth? the wizards!

apparently sauron can’t remanifest himself in middle earth after the ring was destroyed, so we can assume that it also serves as a “foot in the door” thing, when gandalf dies it apparently takes super ultra god to bring him back to life, so lets say saruman sees this and thinks: “so if i make one of these ring things then i don’t have to rely on super ultra god resurrecting me, because he’s not stupid enough to do that” give him some time trapped in the tower before gandalf arrives and lets say he makes such a ring. the extended edition film shows him being stabbed and grima shot through the heart, grima being a cunning dude before death steals this new ring from his master’s stash in an attempt to prolong his failing life and this ring does in fact do that at the same time allowing saruman’s spirity god bit to possess him. grimuman sets out to conquer the shire because of the reasons he does in the book: he’s already doing that (as the books explain he’s sending thugs up there to import food and weed using lotho sackville-baggins as a local puppet leader), wants to get back at the midgets who barged into his fortress with and army of ents and needs somewhere to turn to.

There you go: a justification for not needing the late christopher lee to make this film that makes sense and as far as i can tell fits within the bounds of what could be achieved in canon, sure it’s not from tolkien’s original vision but was legolas singlehandedly besting an elephant or sauron being a british guy with a name that comes straight out of a mary sue fic and crazy fangirls in numbers dangerously close to the levels that cause everyone to hate boybands.

i don’t hate the guy, but if his fangirls become particularly obnoxius then i just might start. just like i kinda hate christmas because of the obnoxius early adverts for it that this year have inexplicably started even earlier in july.

and i do know the true meaning of christamas: spending vast amounts of money so that you can get your close relitives the latest optimus prime (or equivilent) and lesser amounts of money to get your far relitives a generic snowglobe in the unspoken agreement that they will do the same. and i like that, just not the stupid early stupid reminder stupid stupid ads… stupid.

second off (yes seriously that was all just one point) frodo needs to do more, in the books he just stands around telling everyone that they shouldn’t harm any other hobbits. oh and there definately needs to be some hobbit on hobbit fights, having some hobbits actually enjoy collaborating with the occupying forces because of the power it gives them and choose to fight alongside grimuman’s… it’s never really explained if they’re urukhai or humans but probably a mix of both, forces would make them a much more believable people unlike in the books where only lotho and some miller guy agree with saruman.

that said why have frodo do more when it makes more sense to focus on the other three as protagonists: saruman is striking back at merry and pippin for trashing his fortress, ergo having them be the protagonists makes sense, those two and sam have also taken several levels in fighter and brought down or helped to bring down several larger entries in the middle earth bestiary over their travels. frodo is more vunerable compared to them because he was too busy with the ring to pick up any useful skills on his journey.

then we have lotho/pimple who gets killed offscreen in the book by grima, with all the building up of him in the book as “the chief” it would kind of make more sense (to me at least) to have him act as an unwilling dragon to grimuman, have him be the guy leading the sherrifs who go out to capture the heroes and is killed when he betrays grimuman because he decides that he’s went too far, that’s essentially why saruman has him pre-emptively bumped off in the book.

so yeah, that was me ranting for over 1.5 thousand words over what an adaptation of the scouring of the shire would need in my eyes. although if anything they should adapt the simallarion next so i don’t have to read it and also 4 words: soundtrack by blind guardian.

Game Death March: site announcement

If you didn’t know i’m doing a video series called Game Death March where i am attempting to play through every game i own to completion (0r at least the point where i say “eh, frek it” and look for the nearest victory condition).

currently i’m running through my ps2 library. here’s some links to the starting episodes of each game so far

Star Wars battlefront 1:–uKxiMzbs&list=PLz98qG2PhkGPyXTLeLxuKQvpqfznCbsyq&index=1

WW2 Battle over Europe (which defeated me, I’ll be back):

The Legend of Spyro A New Beginning:

or alternatively click the playlist is embedded in the “Game Death March” tab on this site.

just so ya know… if anyone was viewing this website or series.